“In a Town This Size”

Dec 01

(No kid music content here.)

I lived in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, until I was 12 and we moved to Minnesota.  Bartlesville was an oil town, the worldwide headquarters of Phillips Petroleum (for which my dad was a research scientist).  It was a relatively well-off town, with strong schools (my dad was on the school board, in fact) and a stronger cultural core than you might expect for an Oklahoma town of 35,000.  It even boasts the only Frank Lloyd Wright designed skyscraper, the Price Tower, and hosts the annual OK Mozart festival (which was launched while we were living there).  It was a good place to grow up.

Like most families who moved to Bartlesville, my parents asked around about the best pediatrician when they got there from Arkansas, and received the consensus advice that the doctor to see was Dr. Bill Dougherty, Jr., who was a young and skilled pediatrician, respected in the community.

And, it turns out, Dr. Dougherty engaged in the consistent sexual abuse of children, patients and otherwise.

I first heard a bit about it maybe five or ten years ago (or perhaps even earlier); at that time, what I heard was that his abuse was solely of kids in a scout troop. It turns out, unsurprisingly, that it was far more extensive.

A new film, In a Town This Size, tells his story and, heartbreakingly, the story of his victims.  I watched the movie (made by one of his victims, Patrick Brown) this morning, and it was chilling.

Neither my siblings nor I were among Dougherty’s victims; my mom never left us in the examination room with him alone.

But it was striking — and rather intense — to see people my own age, people I easily may have been in school with or played on soccer teams with, discussing the abuse.  One talked about the visual that haunted him from his visits, that of one of those cat clocks with the eyes that go back and forth, and it made me remember that same clock in what must have been the same examination room (a room that, like all of Dougherty’s, had doorknobs too high for a child to reach).  The victim speaks of focusing on that clock during the abuse.  To a person, the victims in the film — and there are quite a number who shared their stories — have stories about how intensely Dougherty’s abuse affected their relationships, their professions, their families — their lives.

The film also includes an interview with a person, probably mid-70s, who was close friends with Dougherty and whose kids all went to him as their doctor.  In one of the toughest parts of the movie to watch, he describes his growing realization that this friend of his — a person he trusted entirely — had abused and stolen the childhood of at least three of his six children.  He later discusses his struggles from within his faith to consider forgiving Dougherty.  (The filmmaker speaks frankly about how low on his list of priorities “forgiving Bill Dougherty” is.  I can’t argue with him.)

Sometime in the ’80s, Dougherty’s crimes became slightly known and he retired from medicine.  The local paper published a story about “a local pediatrician” — not naming him — and his victims.  Due to the statute of limitations in Oklahoma, and the lack of recent victims speaking at the time, he was never criminally charged, and evidently still lives in Bartlesville, only leaving at night, in disguise.

The movie was obviously of particular interest to me because of the personal connection.  But it’s also a good reminder that pedophiles don’t come with name tags or signage, and that part of our job as parents is to be aware of everyone who’s around our kids.  That doesn’t mean assuming everyone is wicked, but it does mean being cognizant, speaking with our kids, and listening to our kids.  I am so grateful to my parents for doing that (and that doesn’t mean for a second that I’m blaming victims’ parents, or the victims themselves, for abuse).  I hope we’re doing the same.

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Playlist for 11-26-2011

Nov 26

Listen any time you like at our page at WRSI.com!

Segment 1
TMBG – It’s Spare the Rock
Ella ID
TMBG -Seven
Alastair Moock – Green Green Rocky Road (w/ Kris Delmhorst)
ID
Rockdoves – See the Seasons
Carole King – Sweet Seasons
ID
Papa Crow – All the Things That Roar

Segment 2
Brandi Carlile – Have You Ever
Frances England – Fascinating Creatures
ID/prep to rock
Tiny Masters of Today – Stickin’ it to the Man
Quazar & the Bamboozled – Can You Picture That?
The Not-Its! – Freeze Tag
ID
Todd McHatton – Happy Vegan Thanksgiving Song

Segment 3
Deedle Deedle Dees – Mayor LaGuardia’s Stomach
Erin McKeown – Thanks for the Boogie Ride
ID
Primate Fiasco – Wheels on the Bus
Dean Jones – Hail! Hail! The Gang’s All Here!
ID
Ellen & Matt – Eat My Dinner
Uncle Rock – Thank You And Good Night

Segment 4
ScribbleMonster – Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child
ID
Justin Roberts – From Scratch
Yo La Tengo – Be Thankful For What You Got
Barenaked Ladies – Things
ID
Fatboy Slim – Praise You

Segment 5
The Meters – They All Ask’d For You
Brady Rymer – I Don’t Like Change
ID
Lunch Money – Tricycle
The Shins – It’s Okay, Try Again
ID
I’m From Barcelona – Collection of Stamps

Segment 6
David Tobocman – I Count to Ten
The Go! Team – We Just Won’t Be Defeated
ID
Egg – La La I Love You Again
Mike Doughty – 27 Jennifers (live in-studio)
ID
TMBG – Four of Two
TMBG – Spare the Rock

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Best of 2011

Nov 21

As usual, I was part of administering and a voting member of the Fids & Kamily Awards this year.  Follow the link for a full description, but basically: a bunch of people who pay attention to family music vote on their favorites with a weighted ballot, and the albums with the most points win.  It’s based on the Village Voice Pazz & Jop poll.  Wayne Brady didn’t get any votes.

As you know if you listened on Saturday, Recess Monkey‘s Flying! won the top spot.  But I thought I’d also share what my picks were.  More than most years, I had a lot of ties, and relatively few huge spreads, so I’m just listing my top ten in alphabetical order by artist (though I’ll name my one favorite down below):

  • Alastair Moock: These Are My Friends
  • Billy Kelly: In the Family Garden
  • Cat & a Bird: Cat & a Bird
  • Dan Zanes: Little Nut Tree
  • Deedle Deedle Dees: Strange Dees, Indeed
  • Frances England: Mind of My Own
  • Lunch Money: Original Friend
  • Papa Crow: Things That Roar
  • Recess Monkey: Flying!
  • ScribbleMonster: Look Both Ways
Other artists that came thisclose to getting some votes (i.e., my honorable mentions): Flannery Brothers, Jimmies, Mike Park, Mister G, Gustafer Yellowgold, Brady Rymer, Not-Its!, Hipwaders.  Again, Wayne Brady wasn’t close.

My overall favorite CD of the year was the Deedle Deedle Dees’ Strange Dees, Indeed.  Anyone who’s paid attention knows that I love the Dees (and, full disclosure, have hosted them in our house and consider them good friends).  Their live shows have always been ridiculous fun.  Now they’ve got a record that matches up with those shows, thanks to the producing talents of Dean Jones.

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Playlist for 11/19/2011

Nov 19

Listen on demand at our page at WRSI.com!

Segment 1
TMBG – It’s Spare the Rock
Ella ID
TMBG – Infinity
Robyn Hitchcock – I Often Dream of Trains
ID
ScribbleMonster – I Really Like You, Baby
Ziggy Marley – Wings of an Eagle (w/ Elizabeth Mitchell)
ID (tease F&K)
Sarah Lee Guthrie & Family – Go Waggaloo

Renee & Jeremy – Rely
My Morning Jacket – Wonderful
ID/prep to rock
TMBG – Don’t Spare the Rock
Boogers – In Wonder With the World
Blitzen Trapper – New Shoes
Terrible Twos – Caroline
ID
Mighty Mighty Bosstones – The Impression That I Get

Segment 3
Joanie Leeds – Froggie Went A Courtin (feat. Secret Agent 23 Skidoo)
Alvin Cash – Keep On Dancin’
ID
Todd McHatton – Say Hello to My Hippo
Flaming Lips – She Don’t Use Jelly
Sippy Cups – Magic Toast
ID

Segment 4
ScribbleMonster – Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child
ID
Fids & Kamily Countdown:
10. Gustafer Yellowgold – Slim Gets In ‘Em (Infinity Sock)
9. Lucky Diaz & the Family Jam Band – Say What? (Oh Lucky Day
ID
8. Jimmies – Every Day’s a Holiday With You (Practically Ridiculous)
7. Deedle Deedle Dees – Henry (Hudson), How Ya Gonna Find a Way? (Strange Dees, Indeed)
6. Brady Rymer – Love Me For Who I Am (Love Me For Who I Am)

Segment 5
Fids & Kamily Countdown, Con’t
5. Lunch Money – Original Friend (Original Friend)
4. Caspar Babypants – Butterfly Driving a Truck (Sing Along)
ID
3. Frances England – Place In Your Heart (feat/ Mates of State)
2. Dan Zanes – In the Basement (feat. Sharon Jones)
ID
1. Recess Monkey – Day Job
ID – interview w/ Recess Monkey

Segment 6
Justin Roberts – New Haircut
ID
John & Mark – A Counting Error
Sesame Street – Roosevelt Franklin Counts
ID
TMBG – One Everything
TMBG – Spare the Rock

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Playlist for 2011-11-12

Nov 12

Listen on demand at our page at WRSI.com!

Segment 1
TMBG – It’s Spare the Rock
Ella ID
TMBG – Particle Man (Other Thing Brass Band)
Elizabeth Mitchell – Bright Morning Stars (Many Hands)
Tom Waits – Last Leaf (Bad As Me)
ID
Caspar Babypants – Wild Wild Time
Cat & a Bird – I Wanna Be Like You
ID
Martin Zellar – Down in the Valley

Segment 2
Laura Doherty – Rocket Ship
Laurie Anderson – Big Science
ID/prep to rock
TMBG – Don’t Spare the Rock!
The Not-Its! – First Kid in Outer Space
Sponge – Go Speed Racer Go!
ID

Segment 3
Captain Bogg & Salty – Don’t Drink Sea Water
Recess Monkey – Invisible Friend (feat. Molly Ledford)
ID
Lunch Money – Tiny Dinosaurs
Barenaked Ladies – Another Postcard
Steve Weeks – Monkeys
ID

Segment 4
ScribbleMonster – Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child
ID
My Morning Jacket – First Light
Dean Jones – Frenzy
ID
Deedle Deedle Dees – a song for Abigail Adams
Frances England – Free To Be Me
ID
School for the Dead – Beautiful Day in the Woods (Ayla)

Segment 5
Jimmies – Bonfire
AudraRox – I Can Do It By Myself
ID
Decemberists – Valerie Plame
Luv Clowns – K-I-D-S
Telephone Company – Mustache
ID
ScribbleMonster – I Want to Hold Your Ear

Segment 6
John Wesley Harding – Sing Your Own Song
Nields – Who Are You Not To Shine?
ID
Uncle Rock – Play Outside Today
Cults – Go Outside
ID
TMBG – Nine Bowls of Soup
TMBG – Spare the Rock

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